*Today I’m sharing my experience with having twins and dealing with Postpartum depression. I talk about the symptoms and how you can get the help you need. No woman should suffer in silence and we all deserve to be happy. 🙂
More info. from the Mayo Clinic about PPD:
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hi everybody welcome back to another video today is going to be another chest with Miche video if you don't follow me on instagram i have talked a lot about over there kind of just my experience with postpartum depression and i haven't done like a postpartum depression update after the twins so that's what I wanted to do today and I also wanted to talk about postpartum and depth a little bit more because a lot of us don't even recognize that we have it we don't know what kind of help we need to get or what resources are out there so I kind of wanted to do that freeways today also may is mental health awareness month and I'm really passionate about this and want to get all this information out there I hope that this video finds someone out there that needs to hear it and that they can get the help that they need from this video so let's get started okay first of all I just want to quickly tell you kind of what I've been going through recently kind of what changes I've gone through and all of that I had postpartum depression after my third after Molly and I started seeing a therapist during that pregnancy and also afterwards I wasn't really diagnosed with postpartum until nine months postpartum because I didn't even recognize what it really was and then I clicked one day that I just wasn't happy at all and it wasn't just a normal like baby blue situation so I was able to kind of work through that then I got pregnant with the twins then I had depression during the pregnancy because it was so difficult and so I was like I got to make sure that I don't have postpartum again I got to make sure I stay on top of it so after I had the twin the first couple of weeks were bliss they always are just so much adrenaline and the hormones are still changing and then I had a really really bad week a few weeks ago where I've talked about this in a video recently as well that I was having some really dangerous thoughts I technically wasn't going to like hurt myself but it also didn't really want to exist I just felt hopeless I felt like nobody cared about me and that you know what's the point of being here if nobody cares and I was just struggling and anxiety and all of that and I went to my gyno because I have my six week postpartum follow up and I talked him about it and he's like definitely postpartum depression talking and we talked about it and I put on medication and I told him I didn't I wouldn't always hesitant to be on medication because I didn't want to be numb and I didn't want to be dependent on it and I didn't want to wean on and off because I know sometimes that can happen and he said okay we'll put you on zoloft and it's the lowest dosage and you can take every other day and kind of see for three months but how that has helped you and if helps or not if you feel great so you need to stop taking it whenever you want but if you feel like you can take it again so that's what I've been doing for the past month and a half now I believe now that's when I come up and I have never been happier in my life and I'm sad that I didn't take medication after I had Molly because that would've helped me greatly as well as my anxiety and with my depression and I can still nurse when I'm taking bill off so there's obviously a lot of different options out there for medications and obviously every situation is different and I'm not an expert I'm just sharing my personal experience and what my doctor told me so if you feel like you have postpartum which we'll talk about the symptoms here in a second talk to your doctor consult your doctor talk to a therapist talk to whoever you need to talk to to get that help that you need because it has changed my life I have not been happier than I have been now in years and I talked about this on my Instagram stories as well so I have a drink because a lot of people have said Michelle I feel like you're struggling and that must be so hard and of course it's crazy having the twins but I've never been happier it's crazy I have five kids but I've never been happier and I feel like it's because all my chemicals are balanced and sometimes I don't even take medication and I'm not anxious anymore and things that would bother me don't bother me and I'm not numb I feel happy I just feel like everything's balanced the way it's supposed to and I feel like the real Michelle is back not the Michelle struggling with anxiety and struggling with depression I am back and it's been over a month now since I've been on Zoloft and I I feel alive it is so crazy I'm working out all the time I'm seeing friends I'm happy and laughing and making jokes these are things I did not do before so I wanted to share that with you guys because there is hope there is help for every situation and I'm going to show you kind of some of the tips of things that I did to get through it sorry it's like me but first let's talk about the symptoms some of the of course a lot of us will experience baby blues which is normal when you have a baby you'll have mood swings anxiety this is all from the Mayo Clinic this is not me making this up sadness irritability feeling overwhelmed or crying trouble sleeping those are kind of baby blues this is how you know it's postpartum depression it says that it can be been staking for baby boys at first but the signs and symptoms are more intense and they last longer so that's definitely when you notice it says it eventually will interfere with your ability to care for your baby and handle daily tasks so it can come at different times as well here are some of the symptoms depressed mood or severe mood swings excessive crying difficulty bonding with your baby withdrawing from family and friends loss of appetite or eating more than normal inability to sleep or sleeping too much overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy reduced interest and pleasure in activities intense irritability anger fear that you're not as a mother feelings of worthlessness shame guilt inadequacy I'll have this link down below too if you want to check out this article diminished ability to think clearly that was something that was big I would talk to Brad hey Michelle what are you talking about severe anxiety and panic attacks I had those thoughts of harming yourself or your baby and recurrent thoughts of death or suicide so untreated it says postpartum depression may last for many months or longer so I felt like my postpartum only lasted a couple of weeks because I recognized it instantly and I was able to thankfully have my six week appointment postpartum appointment and talked to my doctor about it so what are some of the things that you need to do in order to help if you are not in your head to any of these and this doesn't even to be postpartum this is just depression in general if you're feeling these things it's okay to get help it's okay to surrender and the biggest thing that I learned with my doctor when I talked to him about it he's like this is not Michelle this is not you this and that your fault you're not crazy this is the postpartum depression these are chemical imbalances that can be taken care of with medication and he was like it's totally up to you if you don't want to take it fine but I just felt like almost I just felt so strong like the spirit Tom you like Michele you need to take the medicine and I feel so strongly that I have this platform share on YouTube to spread this knowledge because I want to help other women not be ashamed at having these problems or these issues that we all kind of like are embarrassed about and I have so many close friends come to me and say oh hey I take the left to and I'm just so open about it that I want people to feel like it's a normal thing because it is Abby's waking up so how can you get help you can go to your gynecologist if you just had a baby like me I have my six week to checkup and I talked to him about it you can call your insurance and say I need to meet with a therapist and try to figure out a therapy appointment was that talked to your friends who have had similar you know problems or situations or experiences and say who did you go to hi Lily what was bringing a B in juice hi Abigail C hi I wasn't thinking to get that thing on hey Abigail chubbins Chavo Chavo Chavo Burt Thank You Whoopi ah she is yummy mmm call her a baby bumble because she's just like little suds head they're just so yummy Abby she has blue eyes okay so those are the resources look online look for support groups and therapy talk to your doctor do not be ashamed the more open I am about it the more people talk to me about it and the more people have reached out to me and said hey I've dealt with this as well so don't be ashamed be confident and know that there is a better way of life I feel like for so long especially with Molly I just kept trying to work out a lot and work through there trying to be positive or set goals and those are all great when this depression to an extent when there's an actual physical chemical imbalance and you're getting anxiety attacks and uncontrollably crying and feeling like you're worthless and nobody cares about you those are feelings that can be taken away if you work with a therapist if you get on medication that's right for you there are so many things that can help you because life is meant to be enjoyed you guys and I feel like I'm finally enjoying it again and I feel like I can cherish this newborn stage and I I look at my kids differently I look at my husband differently I look at my friends and I look at life so differently because now I'm thinking straight so I guys finally put on my glasses or contacts and I'm like oh my gosh I can see again I can see life for all that it is and I can experience joy and it's kind of weird maybe I'm just like on some zoloft ID but I haven't been anxious or upset about anything and things that normally bother me I'm just like it's fine not worth worrying about and that's how I used to always be before I had kids I was always just a really happy positive person but life gets to you and it's okay and it's okay to struggle and it's okay to admit defeat I guess I had a friend tell me Michonne so proud of you I know it's not easy to you know take medication and just I know you try to be strong and everything but I'm proud of you and that meant so much to me because in a way I was always scared like that if I took medicine it was like I was being defeated like I lost you know and let the depression win but it's not and I'm here to let you know that here on my channel that it's okay to take care of yourself so you can better take care of your family and those loved ones around you so once again I will have that Mayo Clinic article linked down below all about postpartum depression and I love you guys so very much and I'm grateful for all of you who have been following me on this journey and I hope that somebody out there received some sort of positive confirmation that this is okay this is normal that's the goal of this whole video but so have you feel back asleep but I love you all thank you for watching and we'll see you guys later bye