Mom Rant: How We Reward Kids || South African Mom Blogger

Mom Rant: How We Reward Kids || South African Mom Blogger

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Hi Guys

I am back with a new Mom Rant.
Today I am discussing school Graduation and how we reward our kids.

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hi guys and welcome back to another episode of mom rent ahem I must warn you that these are full house today because we have low cheating sacrament even pacify my kids with a movie see how this husband cat kids everyone is here so there's any noise or crime or anything happening in the background just know I did warn you so um I hope you can't hear that because my son is losing his mind with his sisters oh I'm sorry anyway so I quite enjoy doing the lost mama and I found it to be very therapeutic and I say I'm not a confrontational person at all so when I'm in a situation we I should probably voice my opinion or say something about how I feel something is going I came to sort of keep quiet and then I wake like at home it was around we'll get like a full assault on the years of how what I should have said or what I should have done so it is something I want to work on it's something that I wanna improve because I feel like one day I am gonna be in the position we I need to say how I feel and I don't want to just be like like you treat back I want to be able to say what I want to say so let's get did you like that one okay so this video has actually been on my mind for a few weeks now it actually it made me so worked up and flustered I don't know if it was if my feelings were validated we'll see that as soon as it happened obviously in the situation I keep quiet because mostly I was shocked and also like there was just too many face like faces on me at that time but for me to like and also when I when I could really like work up I like get hot end the word suddenly come outside so it's kind of like what's happening now but as soon as it happened and it was done I like got in the car and I phone call and I was like you won't believe what just happened so anyways I had to make notes and I sent the notes the corner and I was wanting to make sure that I covered all my bases and that I actually had a proper argument to put forward today so that it is any parents or anyone that was like no you ain't wrong or you are looking at it the wrong way that I could be like okay but I've got my things back at our power to validate how I feel so I'm rededicating like that about it but anyway so a couple of weeks were probably more like a month ago we had a school meeting it was part it was the law school meeting of the earth and they were just covering all the different things that was happening the last few weeks of school assessments and all that the normal stuff so they brought up the topic of graduation so I was kind of like okay it's a pretty safe topic and probably gonna just go over you know the way it's gonna be all that kind of stuff and one of the the parents put up the hand and said is the graduation going to be the same as last year and I was like already but like confused like okay and the teacher said no no no no no we heard all the complaints and all the problems from last year's graduation we're doing a different this year and I'll still like what what did he what did I miss something like I know sometimes I'm you know I'm not always all dayy but I pretty sure it was a normal like graduation and the wonder that other mom's actually are she's like okay what was the problem you know what happened and she said no her child was and these I think was almost these words almost exactly exactly what she said she was like no her child was deeply traumatized and it was an extremely painful experience for her family because um so we I'm like in it I'm so in it okay I'm so sorry about that my kids are insisting that I put on a movie for them and I keep trying to tell them that it's love cheating and I can't and they keep saying but just go to the switch put it on and I'm so why why would I do this to myself why would I put electricity off to talk to you when I need to do this so anyway where was I he said this patent expressed that it was just a terrible experience with him and it was a normal graduation so each child got a certificate for passing the grade and then they had special awards for kids that did outstanding in certain subjects they could maybe the top achiever and for me that's pretty normal like I don't really see you know what could have been so you know and like so weird for them or so hard and this period seat it was gonna be the same they'd all did not send their child to the graduation they will not invite all the family if a child's not going to get an award and what shocked me even more than this via a statement was how every single parent seemed to agree and I literally was sitting here with my face like like huh like what what what what is even happening yeah I honestly and I might be wrong but I honestly don't understand what the issue was and what's weird for me is my daughter I mean this year I got um over in grade odd so she'll also be going to the graduation loss it was just so II and she worked really really hard she was so proud of herself she knew how proud we were of her and she worked hard she loved going to school she loves learning and she was okay she literally went home we after the graduation we all kissed it hard then it was we made a big fuss over her because we were proud of her and you could see her face when she caught that certificate she was like standing there like like yes I paused looked like she didn't scrape by she did really really well and she went home had a huge slice of cake and when she got home she sat on the couch and and pantheon she was just like so relieved that the year was over and she forgot about it there was no crying there was no disappointment there was no lie girl why me and it was and that was that I guess I'm not saying that maybe while the graduation was happening seeing certain students got up a second time around you know they didn't said they feel like oh okay who is my second award I'm not saying that this there was no disappointment involved but is that such a bad thing like yearly is it I'm I don't know if this helping people feel about this but I'm okay with my children being disappointed I feel like it's a part of life it's a healthy emotion to experience and experience sitting a little bit at a time when they're younger when they're older it won't seem such a big deal it would be like you know what should happens work hard but I'm proud of myself my parents applied everyone's happy it just wasn't my time it just wasn't my day to get the award or get the promotional or what have you so I'm not saying kids aren't entitled to titled to feel disappointment in that situation but I feel like to grow as a person it's necessary thing to feel as well so I'm okay with anything my kids feel feel that way and allowing them to also know that their parents will be there for them their friends will be there for them their family will be equal team and the deport disappointment they're feeling will pass eventually so it's not something that you have to pull your hair out of it's not big deal right now I want to disappoint her and say no but she's also just working on my nerves yes you can't go swim where was I yeah so as a doubt now I know that you can pour your blood sweat and tears into something given all you have and someone can still have the edge on you you can still experience that thing of someone else getting the promotion even though you worked just as hard and I feel like I can only help you in video world getting these lessons now so as an adult you'll just be like okay cool I'll get another chance that's like the work hard again cool move on so number two I feel like placing so much importance on actually receiving an award puts kids in such a difficult position places them and there's so much you know stress and put so much on their shoulders and they're so young I mean these kids are in primary school and I feel like it's more your kid not getting an award is more some parents see it more as a reflection of them as opposed to their kids because they feel like what are other people they don't think that their kid didn't get an award and it's it's more about the parents the parents ego at the end of the day and I feel like you robbed your kids or the opportunity to be happy for the fellow student to actually go after the student and say you know even knowing how hard they work and now in our heart other kids also work and you take that away from them they're not a lot they they feel so they're so consumed by the feelings of disappointment and offices aren't feel or whatever your anything in the car but oh that y'all got an award you didn't get an award instead of encouraging your child say go over to P pompous and say congratulations you worked hard you deserve the award and I feel it just gives kids that feeling of bitterness that every time someone gets something that they don't get that they're gonna feel like that y'all didn't deserve it whereas maybe their child is really deserve it and you also have to teach your child that other kids even though you work hard may also be deserving of an award that's another important thing for you to for parents to teach the kids that they have to feel put out of other people because you would want if you can turn in your targets in the ward you didn't want you would want another child to be like that child got in the warden I didn't do you want would want other people to feel happy for your child and I feel like it's important lessons that you you must opportunity to teach your kids at such a young age as well I'm getting through I'm sorry but my kids just threw me off my game today number three on my list is teaching kids that it's only worth doing something because you're gonna get a reward in it or an athlete at the end of the day is for me it's quite an unhealthy thing as well there are plenty of jobs where you work hard and you do the most for people and you never get that action you don't even get a thank you or a reward or what gift or what anything and one thing I like that I teach my kids is they have to do something that makes them happy first that fulfills them that would that is to follow pursue their passions not to look at what kind of reward will they get if they do it all what will people think what will people say if I do this you do it for yourself you do something that's passionate you pursue it with all you have and at the end of the day if you can put your head on your pillow you can you taste easy and even if only you know that you're doing it in your pages and your sisters know that you're doing it but it fulfills you then do it it's important to tell your kids that they is made it in doing things that nobody notices it's not a shit's not a shameful thing to go through your whole life working hard and not getting any reward just because it's not a job that is you know very popular you know I can say like that I feel like it really sucks that we live in a world we if you're not the best or the biggest of the greatest that you either you the ultimate winner or you are complete loser it makes life very binary and I'm not saying it's a patent you shouldn't want to push your kids to be ahead of the pack that's not what I'm saying but also we shouldn't be fostering an idea of we should be giving plays we praise isn't you the one thing that I want to teach my kids is that they need to be non reliant on outside opinions that what they feel about themselves is good enough it shouldn't be you know a feeling of I didn't I worked hard I can get the reward so therefore what I did wasn't good enough kids should be should feel and should know from the inside I did my best and if I'm not rewarded physically that's ok because what I put out was the best I think we also need to let kids realize how extremely privileged they are some kids really come out of really dire situations pushing themselves to do better and I feel that sometimes we need also to take a step back and be like yes you're working hard but someone else could also be working just as hard in even more difficult situations and sometimes it's important to tell kids more about doing jobs are in service to others in a way to give back to kids who want to give back to people who aren't in the provisions of the situation that they might be in and I feel the one the one job of service that I know I have a really soft spot for is teachers and especially it's teachers sometimes put themselves in the world situations and they are the ones trying to bring the best out of you kids and sometimes they are the ones that are doing more of the discipline more pink attachment and it's really like if I look at the teachers in my kids schools I'm so pleased with him honestly I don't have the easiest kids in the world they are big personalities a very strong and they're very safe in what they were do and on how they behave sometimes but also when they don't feel right in such a situation they show it quite prominently they'll behave a certain way though they really share with physically and emotionally they don't I'll hide it really they don't hide it very well if they unclear they're not happy in this situation and instead of the teachers just like a dieting my kids often saying Northy all they just they're misbehaving whatever the case they always go the extra mile with me and I'll call me in I'll be like okay we know your child or we can see your child is there's a lot of promise and how can we work together and I mean they don't have to do that they could literally they don't have to go that far they did he go the distance with the kids just on a day-to-day they spend more time with the kids that the parents do and they'll call they use the Serbian advocacy I got called in and they were like especially with the Zoey difference was like mean Rosa we we know what type of student she is this is not how she behaves what can we do with you let us know what you're doing at home and let's work together and we stayed on the same page whatever I was implementing at home they implemented scrubbing even with with Connor I have such a good relationship with the prince of blowing with his teacher we work really well together and it's important for the kids to see how while the parents and the teachers communicate because then they know they can't get away with anything it's cool get away with anything at home because people may be talking behind the backs okay so thank you for listening to me right about my kids graduation I'm actually quite it's actually happening on Thursday sir wait I mean interested to see how it's gonna go down and so your I encourage any parents Aarthi or or anybody actually if you have opinion they're deaf it's to mind if you're had a similar experience happen with you I would really love to sort of connect and exchange opinions and views and and as I said it might be a really small thing to some people like okay how can ship it anything about kids getting an award for graduation move on but for me I feel teaching your kids little lessons when they're younger Julia quips them for adulthood so we don't walk around with entitled egomaniacs around and you sort of I don't know if you've Mason and I'll can you just like Oh your parents loved you oh yeah I'm good I don't want my I don't want my kids to walk around like that and I also don't want to find people to think like I walk it out disappointing my kids like when I asked me connectorized NASA yes and then I'm like hahaha taking it away from you disappointment in your face no I mean just normal everyday life lessons so I hope you guys enjoy because I feel like it was a little bit like because we interacted quite a few times for my goals but otherwise I hope you guys enjoyed it and as always like us if you like us and subscribe if you know what's good for you and I'll see you guys next time bye

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