Two years ago, Grace invited her mother, Eve, to move in with her. Soon after, Eve’s relationship with Grace’s wife, Kenyaette, went from pleasant to ugly. However, since Eve keeps pointing the finger away from herself when talking about the conflict within her daughter’s home, Iyanla suspects that she has no idea how her own behavior contributes to the family’s breakdown. Here, Iyanla advices Eve that as the elder, she should be willing to make adjustments to remedy the situation. For more on #FIXMYLIFE, visit
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About Iyanla: Fix My Life:
In the popular self-help series, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, bestselling author, spiritual life coach and television host Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors to help people whose relationships and lives have broken down.
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Iyanla to a Mother-In-Law Causing Conflict: “You’re the Elder” | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
Are you aware that
Kenyatta, as a result of her time in the service, has
post-traumatic stress disorder? Are you aware of that? Of course. IYANLA: And what if what you
think is directed toward you is really just a function of her
post-traumatic stress disorder? I would say that
that is not the truth. I've heard Kenyatta
say once that I was causing a lot of problems
in their relationship. It's hard for me to
believe that me– I cause problems. I see several. See several what? Several places where
your presence could be a potential problem for them. My– just my presence?
IYANLA: Just your presence. My presence causes
problems in the relationship? IYANLA: I said I
see several places– There we go. That answers my question. –where your presence could
cause a potential problem. If I'm the problem, they
want me to leave, I'll leave. But the prob–
it's not whether or not they want you to leave. You're the elder here,
so that means the wisdom has to come through you. So as a wise woman, you are
living in your daughter's house with her partner. And there's a break down. They're married. You're not. And as the elder, there
may be some adjustments you have to be willing to make. So you're saying that
I shouldn't be there. IYANLA: I'm saying,
you the elder. OK. I'm real clear
about what I'm saying. You are the elder.
– Yeah? IYANLA: So it may take you
to look at the situation and make an assessment. And then make a choice
based on what you see.