Hey guys! We’re here again, like we will be every Wednesday, hanging out and talking about what’s going on in our lives as women and mothers. Today we talk more about being moms: the expectations, the surprises, and a little advice 🙂 Please join us and let us know what you think and what you want to hear us talk about! Be part of our discussion!!!
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About The Mom’s View
Motherhood is tough. Between pregnancy symptoms, changing diapers, kissing boo-boos, breastfeeding, and cleaning, sometimes it is easy to lose your sanity. That’s where The Mom’s View comes in. Join our community of moms – Katilette of the Shaytards, CarlieStylez, HeyKayli, That Chick Angel TV, and their friends as they discuss every how to you will need to help with child rearing, how to deal with the terrible two, parenting tips and tricks, and everything in between. From pregnancy announcements, to pregnancy workouts, baby product reviews, baby hauls, maternity clothes to naptime, The Mom’s View has the perfect parenting tips you need make the lives of you, and your child, a little easier. The most important part of TMV is that we love to have fun! From our crazy antics to our Baby Swag rap videos, we promise to keep you entertained and informed.
our second episode how'd it feel last week to do the first not so fun we really loved your comments keep them coming it's fun to hear your experiences and how you felt about the things that we talked about plus it's a good girl time for us right yeah do you feel like you have or before you had children or even now an idea of what a good mother is and do you feel like you live up to your expectation of what that is I think it's a mother you can never live up to that you know I can take your hardest on yourself yeah but I think it's because of the love that we have for our kids se doesn't like we know they deserve the world and it's like but then I think that's also being a woman why never give ourselves enough credit like we're always so hard in ourselves I kind of talked about this in one of my previous videos or it's like uh beginning of motherhood I was like this vision of my mother who like in my eyes as a child she was perfect you know like she did everything right all the time and the house was always clean and there was always fresh cookies baked and I'm just like in my little child eyes it was like that's what a mother is and I'm gonna be a perfect mother when I grow up and then like when you have a baby you realize it and it's like I never learned how to stall I can't do this my house is always a mess like all these things that you just start to beat yourself up over and I realized that okay all those things are like goals of mine and things that I want to do but they don't define who I am and you just need to realize that Who I am as a person is who I need to be to my kids and not worry about being a mother you know like the perfect mother just right I thought and I thought quote the other day and it said sorry about the mess my kids are making memories perfect oh great because that's what we want is our kids to have fun memories and when you're trying to be this ideal mother what are you doing to your kids that when I'm cleaning I've always like yeah go clean your room and I'm stressed out to only have those memories if my house is gonna be messy hopefully it's because we were playing or we were making your crafter we were cooking together and that's okay yeah my mom said that to she you know recently she was like yeah I shouldn't have even worried about keeping the house but it didn't matter I don't know why that seemed so important at the time everything had you know she's like we're gonna just play bars I think at the end of the day you realize how fast time goes by and how much of that time do you feel like is wasted on worrying about silly things are worrying about what the neighbors think or what your friends think like all that really matters is your children and your time and your memories I think it's hard to not feel like well I feel like Cooper's around so it's like I'm being a mom but like how much what I want to interaction like and to me it's kind of like a checklist if I'd done the laundry have I cooked a my queen and then it's like at the end of the day though it's like how your kids feel about you in the day like last night Cougars like mom could we went to our third Christmas he's like mom that was such a fun day let's do it again tomorrow like you know just like the little things like that I think should define us as mothers and not like cuz I can't so if my life depended on it but I don't feel like it makes me like anyone less of a mom I think we tend to focus a lot of times just like we are as human beings on the things we don't do and should do rather than really kind of focus on what we're doing and what we're creating and what we're giving because you know if you really sit down and if you were to write down on the things you do know the things you don't do you do more than what you don't do so like you said we are being hard on ourselves and we can always do more but you're gonna kind of just be happy with what you offer and what you do and I think as a mom we compare ourselves to our friends and how their mothering and and those things work for them like every family works differently so it's okay if you're not doing exactly what they're doing because you're doing things that they're not doing in so I don't think it's okay to look well it's fun like been living with you guys I'm like not that I'm saying you're not the perfect mother that I saw but it's like you see what does happen behind closed doors and it's like not that you have to go live with somebody to know how they are but sometimes I wish you didn't have to realize life is life you can't can't plan it's not cookie cutter never is okay but do you feel like we're talking about that the other night you were just like you're started in the middle of making more videos and you're like it's taking my time yeah and just that you you you get upset about it you know and just like so are you sort of now on a path of like yeah it's so I didn't get balanced because kami I would have about this to like you realize when you cuz I've always just been a stay-at-home mom stay at home and I was a fitness instructor for a while so it'd be gone like an hour two hours a day but I found out when I was more with my kids sometimes it was harder to spend time with them because cuz you start to get like oh don't bother me right now I need a break like you needed a break so it would get more stressful like you felt like you were spending too much time at home not necessarily quality time but like trying to get stuff done and you know I think there's studies it that it's sometime it's better to give them a little better my opposite I was used to being at the salon for 12 hours a day now I'm home more getting ready preparing videos I'm here a lot more and I'm having that issue with where I feel like I'm always telling Mike it's just a minute just a minute because I know I'm home but I'll do that later I'll do that later so it's just like you can appreciate them once more sometimes when you're not with them 24 hours it feels good also as women to be doing something other than parenting because we're so reminded all the time every day that we're moms and you know yeah well we're momma's well women or wives we're sisters we're friends were you know career women so as far as just kind of balancing everything to make it one I mean it's kind of like um absence makes the heart what are they and it's kind of like that with your kids when you're not around them all the time you're missing them and you can't wait to get home and read a story with them or you can't wait to get home and cook dinner and spend time with them so I'll go to coffee with a friend of mine is a mom and then we'll be like oh we still need a break let's go get coffee we sit down and the entire time when we're talking about our kids you know I think it's finding a balance no matter what kind of mom you are like if you do stay home just you know finding about something that's a little outlet for you or you know just what about you kerley show you I think I think you always make the best of your time with Cooper you're so hard on yourself but when you have Cooper he's happy non-stop like you make the most of your time with him that's nice well that's different like it's it's hard to put in because it's different I don't have Cooper like like I would a vision that I'd always like have my kid my child with me but I share him with his dad so the time I do up with Cooper it's like it has to be about him because I like never thought that like yeah you know I'm the same sake but somebody you think I like grew up with my brothers I bet you are but yeah it's yeah when you're not with it's it's hard cuz it's like I see you guys sometimes with your kids all the time I'm like I'm so amazed sometimes I'm like oh so nice to have all right I just don't be able to get up and go to dinner like it's good for you guys to do that utilize me more when Cooper's gone and I'm missing and be like here's our kids we're going to dinner he's not watch your dog so bad what is something you wish you had known before becoming mothers like that you could give to the advice to sort of this audience here I'll say one thing like I mean I guess I'm not to that point where my kids are all grown up but how fast it goes like just from the first my first child like I remember just like I couldn't wait for him to walk I couldn't wait for him to learn to like do all these things or start talking and now I'm like slow down please don't start crawling up please don't start long because it just it goes like that goes so fast so exciting you know like the milestones when they crawl like it is I that's interesting cuz I only have one but now looking back to some part I'm like oh yeah cuz I used to watch him and he was a baby no he's what you don't walk the next day they do yeah well and I remember after I had Braley knowing how fast she grew up and thinking I'm not gonna let gate walk you wanna freeze time so badly really do it's like oh so fast I just enjoy every single moment what about you guys if you could give advice to that it's like something that you know you wish you had known you can't no and I don't think that you should expect yourself to know like like you said they often they just give you this baby but you're gonna do things how your mom and your grandma did but you're also gonna become your own person and your own mother and I think that's like when I started feeling like the best mom was almost like I can do this my way and I can't I have my own thoughts and opinions and you can't plan for everything like I never thought in a million years I would be a single mom I never thought that that would happen it or that I would ever have to share my baby with you know like my his time and so it's like I think life is all about just taking it as it comes and doing the best with what you've been given and what happens and when you plan I think there's people who are planners but when you plan for things to go a certain way and they don't that's when you see people freaking out it's like if you can just let go and live and yeah easier said than done though but don't plan on like you can't plan your your bait how your child's gonna be what if you like want this great relationship and sometimes kids are challenging and they hate you or we take them to go do such fun things and then they're terrible and you think they would just look at me like this is so awesome you gotta just go with the flow that's true in life though I mean that's like I say that to myself everything yeah children is they adapt to everything like they don't know like they don't know the right way to do it so if your way is the right way man it's just this I mean it is the right way to do things to them it's almost just giving them that the gift of confidence and no need to choose that cuz you remember the moment you realize that maybe your parents weren't doing something right and you're like oh yeah I would do that differently well I love the things I'm like I will never do that and then I get oh I'm like I just did it not that it's bad you know as far as expectations for me in my case was having such an effect on my relationship with my husband at the time because we were so spontaneous we would travel all the time we would go to dinners and had a social life and you know came home at all hours of the day and then all of a sudden you know I was locked up we didn't have family around and it was just he and I and in really today I I mean it's kind of a weird but I feel like we really kind of disconnected us a little bit because I was so focused also on my child and you know and we're you know we're wives too we have to come see me with my hair I'm just a mom or a wife and so I for me that was something I did not expect at all and I was and you know I'm looking back I see a little bit of how things could have been done a little differently you know I think you're just going on dates a little bit more maybe you know getting a name change your relationship you were a wife but now you're a wife and a mom yeah you kind of grow and you change a little bit in so it's kind of like it can divide you it can bring you together if you do it the right way but I totally understand first year you know a child's life it's it's more but I feel like moms are more involved just because you know dad that's not all case obviously there's exceptions but I feel like dads or if they don't they don't have as much of an interaction until their toddler yeah it's more like you know babies yeah I don't like ever remember fighting to change to the diaper to do it I get to do it you know did you find that that you know your your significant others were maybe scared that first year is that pretty universal here I don't think scared I don't think Shay was necessary scared I think he just he's so like he he just he was so much more fun with them when they can like interact you know because he loves him too like he's very gentle he's always changed diapers and I mean he's actually I'm sure what was it like with the first child the first year like what was Shay um actually like the first night I came home I was just like I was throw the cooperate and I was like shaking and I was just like I was just having a nervous breakdown and so he's like you sort of had I will take care of the baby and I'm like he fed him a bottle and I like came in the next morning he was laying on like the recliner that the rocking recliner with like a blanket like he he really tried to be involved even though like the first time you change a diaper he wrapped a towel around his head yeah I think that I wait and maybe get your husband's you know her boyfriend's more involved and what I did with what my ex was you know we have baby showers where it's women only and so what I did was to go see all the stuff at Babies R Us as I brought him along it was it come with me he's like nah I was like I can made him come with me make this stuff together he knows like do you like this and he said no it's like okay what do you like and then the nursery we did it together and then the baby shower it was co-ed those guys there because I feel like it's not just a celebration of you know it's not just your baby this is baby too so I got involved with everything from the beginning so when the baby comes it's not just like oh here it is you know it's like oh it's it's a process mentally and finally like oh here it is now you know I think it's okay that's what I did and I don't know I think that it's something what we need to do yeah yeah when I had gage um I was really sick when I had him and I didn't get to see him the whole day because he was in the NICU what were you sit like sick I just had a c-section and reacted weird medicine okay and so Casey was spent the whole day there with him and when we got home I felt like they had they had this special connection the new of them and it made me jealous but then I can watch that you know watching her interact with him and you know that was amazing yeah anyway so I mean if they have the opportunity I feel like with Braley I was like no I'm gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna be the best one I'm gonna do right you started out with with gage he was able to do that and and it was amazing to see that so I think you got a shirt anymore Lister you got to share with you want to be involve you gotta like share them right I think it's interesting to like going back to um you know like you said that your relationship kind of like grew apart from each other cuz I've noticed like it every once in a while that happens you know with Shay and I and it's because the kids are always like clamoring for your attention they're crying about it or mom mom mom and it's like he doesn't do that he just kind of sits back but if I remember like okay we need to spend time together it's not just all about the kids like it's okay if we you know get a babysitter if we put a movie on for the kids and just spend some time together that it's like you need to remember just because he's not like I need your attention right now by the time he gets to that point it's like they you know we really need some time together mm-hmm my should say remember so it was something that pleasantly surprised you about becoming a mom that you just was like how funny they are exactly I was thinking that um they do take up so much time in it you're busy and it's crazy but then there are times when I said think what would we be doing right now if we were watching our kids just like running and they're like jumping in you know what would we be doing with our time this is right it felt right to me from day one and yeah so natural and that's why I think if you tried to plan how you're going to feel you're gonna surprise yourself it's gonna be a palette just like like I'm on the way I can't do this I'm okay I did it feel like leading up to it you didn't know if you'd be a good mother you like no it's being a mom is so in like the you're physically like that's why I don't think anybody can really understand a relationship with you and your baby because like you literally feel them growing inside of you and turning and changing and the first time you hear that heartbeat that you're growing it's just like and then you give you give all this effort in this labor for this baby and then like you give them that life like they get to nurse and I don't know it's just amazing it's just it's kind of like empower like yes I did this I did this baby or whatever I'm okay another that's crazy well we'll be back next week yeah and we've enjoyed all your comments keep them coming we read them all you